Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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