I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
