they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
