We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
