im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
