I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
