Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
