I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
