I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
