What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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