highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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