oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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