He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
its liver damage thursday
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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