my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
