Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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