Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
