so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
