I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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