maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
