We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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