My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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