Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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