WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
