It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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