I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
