That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
