so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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