were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
