Do you still have your period?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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