thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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