I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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