? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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