is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His nipple licking is glorious
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