Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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