You work out of a Hotel?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
