if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
