and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
