she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
