Do you still have your period?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
