I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
