remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
