How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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