those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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