How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
