Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
