He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
do nipples grow back?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
