problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
