can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
