Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
