I need help removing her.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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