and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
