Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
