i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
