you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
