Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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