I think my vagina is haunted
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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