Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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