lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
