Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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