you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
where are my eyebrows?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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