is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
